When do things end?
When is the hope fulfilled, when do we reach the end, when do we find what we’re looking for, when we don’t know what that is?
Because for as long as this question is unanswered, all experience is only an endless train of doubts and false hopes, for when can we ever know that it is the end?
When can we know when to settle down, when there’s fear in our minds,
and the laughter doesn’t stay long, you need to force it out.
When every smile seems too heavy, with elastic smiles that return to the equilibrium of numbness, where all feeling is for the ones around, and all expression is but theatrical. Is everything fake, and all the journey a falseness, if the destination is non-existent or unknown? It is said in simple weightless words that some people go entire lifetimes without realizing their dreams. Such frail, trivial words, to sum up entire lifetimes in generalization. Lifetimes when people have feared failure, yet kept going on, hoping (yes, this magical word, hope) that they are parts of stories that are incomplete. And even in those lifetimes when people feel euphoria, like a man meeting the love of his life, even that isn’t permanent, isn’t sure. He never knows when another will appear to convince him that she is the true adventure that he was looking for, and that in his desperation in his search for a consolation to all his wounds and scars, he reduced himself to love any love that he received, so the imagined beauty was lost, and the perceived one was exaggerated for self-satisfaction.
When do things end? When does one know the add the fullstop after the sentence, and when does one know to leave it in ellipsis; waiting for the day when the searing sun is eclipsed by the shadows of comfort, so one can revel in the cold after years burning. And in all the suffering, is all true meaning lost, with people only so ready to accept the fate that by determinism is awarded to them, and the only meaning they care for is any safety that provides them respite.
When is the hope fulfilled, when do we reach the end, when do we find what we’re looking for? When do we find what we’re looking for…when we don’t know?
Meliora 